I Choose The Red





   

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
back again

hey guys im back again. a couple of weeks after my last post one of my friends died. his name was jeremie williamson.me, jeremie and josh used to live together in an apartment for awhile. after i got into jobcorps, they moved to another place. well anyways josh and jeremie were swimming with thier girlfreinds and josh and jeremie decided to swim across the lake. jeremie got tired and tried to turn back but it was too late. i have a coroners report on his death:

NEWS RELEASE ID : N07060025
Incident Type : Incident Date :
DROWNING
05/21/2006
Waterway : District : Incident Time :
OTHER - SEE BELOW
6
6:50:00 PM
Location : Town : County :
CENTER OF LAKE OAK GROVE, MO JACKSON
Summary :
-- CARAWAY LAKE -- CITY PARK LAKE THE VICTIM AND HIS FRIEND WERE ATTEMPTING TO SWIM ACROSS THE LAKE. THE VICTIM GOT TIRED, TURNED AROUND, BUT COULD NOT MAKE IT BACK TO SHORE. ATTEMPTS BY HIS FRIEND TO HELP WERE UNSUCCESSFUL AND THE VICTIM WENT UNDER. RECOVERY WAS MADE BY THE LEE'S SUMMIT UNDERWATER RESCUE AND RECOVERY UNIT.


Fatalities:

Injured Name : Date of Birth : City/State :
WILLIAMSON, JEREMIE 8/17/1987 KANSAS CITY, MO
Nearest Relative: City/State :
PARENTS AT THE SCENE
Taken to : Coroner :
JACKSON MEDICAL EXAMINER LARRY CRIDLEBAUGH
Date Body Recovered : Time Body Recovered : Location :
05/21/2006 8:40:00 PM SAME
Recovered by : Depth : Swimmer : YES
LEE'S SUMMIT UNDERWATER RESCUE 7 1/2 FOOT
Method : Wore PFD : NO
DIVING

 

 

i can hardly beleive that this happened. i went to his funeral and everything. josh was devastated if there was a word to describe how he felt. we all were. i found out about jeremie because i was bored in class and i ended up reading the newspaper and i came across the obituary. coincidence? maybe. only if you beleive in coincidence.

anyways after that time everything went okay. josh was grieving badly but he got over it in awhile. me and josh, were like brothers we'll do anything for each other because we went through the same shit together, we have alot in common. i lived with him last summer and last winter with jeremie. he's doing okay, i wish he could do better though. he is getting his GED (general educational development) as i did. i also got the 2 year scholarship that comes with it if you score high enough. my birthday was september 1st, im 19 now. me and my dad are getting along finally. he's got a fiance. he picked me up from jobcorp on my birthday and josh came by and picked me up from my dads place, and we threw a party. i had a great time. it was the first birthday party i ever had in my life. anyways after the weekend im back at jobcorp again, training to be a professional welder. lots of fun and lots of burns.

i got to go, my time has run out.

virus


Posted at 12:25 pm by Virus666
Unplugged (1)  

Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Stupid people tend to form large groups

hey guys im back. i dont know if anybody reads my blog anymore, but who gives a fuck? Right now my life has taken on a new road. im in a US department of labor program called jobcorps. it is designed to help kids like me to get an education and learn a trade. its a hell of alot better than living on the streets, i can tell you that. im in a class right now called language arts 3 for 3 hours on a damn computer. you can tell im bored. which is why im typing this. the majority of the kids here fucking retarded in some way or another. they just dont get it. im all about myself completing this program but none of these kids are. i remember that i used to be like that before. like in high school. i didnt give a flying fuck about high school. i still dont. i can complete and graduate with money in my pocket, a job, a place of my own in one year at job corps, while it takes 4 years to graduate high school with nothing but a piece of paper that says that you've graduated high school. anyways ill drop the subject for now. i dont know when ill post next but hang in there.

 

Virus


Posted at 10:21 am by Virus666
Unplugged (2)  

Wednesday, April 19, 2006
dreaming awake

Sleep-wake blur may explain near-death visions

Brain's tendency for dream spill-over linked to spiritual phenomenon

Updated: 1:02 p.m. ET April 17, 2006

NEW YORK - The brain's tendency to occasionally blur the line between sleep and wakefulness may help explain the phenomenon of near-death experience, preliminary research suggests.

It's been an open question as to why some people see bright light, feel detached from their bodies or have other extraordinary sensations when they are close to dying or believe they might die.

Some people view these so-called near-death experiences as evidence of life after death, and many neurologists have considered the phenomenon too complex for scientific study.

Story continues below ↓
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But the new research, published in the journal Neurology, implicates the blending of sleep and wake states as a biological cause of near-death experiences.

Researchers found that adults who said they'd had such an experience were also likely to have a history of what's called REM intrusion — where aspects of the dream state of sleep spill over into wakefulness.

People may, for example, feel paralyzed when they first wake up, or have visual or auditory hallucinations as they fall asleep or awaken.

Of the 55 study participants who'd had a near-death experience, 60 percent had also experienced REM intrusion at some point in their lives. That compared with 24 percent of 55 adults who served as a comparison group.

The findings suggest that the brain's arousal system predisposes some people to both REM intrusion and near-death experience, according to the study authors, led by Dr. Kevin R. Nelson, a neurologist at the University of Kentucky in Lexington.

This arousal system, Nelson explained in an interview, regulates not only REM sleep, but also attention and alertness during waking hours — including during dangerous situations.

'Spiritually neutral' research
And many of the features of REM intrusions, he said, parallel those of near-death experience.

During REM sleep, visual centers in the brain are highly active, while the limb muscles are temporarily paralyzed. So REM intrusion during peril could promote the visions of light and sensation of "being dead" that people often have during a near-death experience, according to Nelson.

Other evidence supports a role for REM intrusion in near-death experiences, he said. One important fact, Nelson noted, is that stimulation of the vagus nerve, which connects the brain stem to the heart, lungs and intestines, triggers REM intrusion. And heightened activity in this nerve is sure to be part of the body's "fight-or-flight" response to danger.

Still, Nelson said he doesn't think REM intrusion will turn out to be the "whole explanation" for near-death experience, and the findings shouldn't detract from the meaning people have taken from their experiences.

"My work is spiritually neutral," Nelson said, noting that the research can only look at how the brain contributes to near-death experience, and not why the phenomenon occurs.

"The 'why' can't be addressed by scientific inquiry," he said.

(c) Reuters 2006. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content, including by caching, framing or similar means, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters and the Reuters sphere logo are registered trademarks and trademarks of the Reuters group of companies around the world.

Posted at 12:48 pm by Virus666
Unplugged (2)  

Tuesday, January 10, 2006
What Humanity Has Forgotten

This is what humanity has forgotten. i just recently got inspired byy this right before i came in the library. i rode my bike about 3 miles to the library, and when i got there, i put my bike down in a low profile location near the library, and i waited untill it opened up. During that, my mind changed focus. i started to really see what was around me, forgetting everything that was going on in my life. i saw the bricks of the library building, the asphalt of the road, the dormant trees of winter. the clouds, the rain which turned into ice on everything it touched. (thats how kansas city in winter is like, by the way.) i saw everything how it is. Then it was the cold, though riding a bike in 30 F degrees for about an hour is enough for me to get used to it, i still felt it. i felt the air moving. then i realized that humanity, at least Americans, tied up with work, school, other issues in life like relationships, what theyre going to do when the shit hits the fan. thats what humanity is focused on. we are focused on nothing but what concerns them and the things happening around them. nobody justs stops in the middle of something and take a look around, and think about "why am i here?" "Why is the world the way it is?" im going to tell you something here. one of my hobbies is making "maps" or computer generated environments, my software comes from a FPS game called Unreal Tournament. the original. anyways, ever play a video game? like one of the latest ones, with the best graphics, so good that it makes you wonder how the hell did the people that made the game do this? if you want to know how they do it, try this site. this is the site for making maps for UT: www.unrealwiki.com anyways, it would probably be useless to you, since you will look at it and think, i dont understand ANY of this! but try comparing the virtual world of what i do for a hobby, and compare it to the physical world. i can realize how it is possible, to replicate something from physical world into the virtual world, in every sense. like the Matrix. you see, the thing with video games is that they replicate objects with only two senses, sight and sound. what if we did it with smell, taste, and touch? its not that hard to figure it out for me, only because i know how work with computer generated environments. i have an article from the matrix website, to show you  how possible it is that, if were not living in a matrix right now, we will be soon.

The Matrix, Our Future?

By: Kevin Warwick

Is The Matrix merely a science fiction scenario, or is it, rather, a philosophical exercise? Alternatively, is it a realistic possible future world? The number of respected scientists predicting the advent of intelligent machines is growing exponentially. Steven Hawking, perhaps the most highly regarded theoretical scientist in the world and the holder of the Cambridge University chair that once belonged to Isaac Newton, said recently, "In contrast with our intellect, computers double their performance every 18 months. So the danger is real that they could develop intelligence and take over the world." He added, "We must develop as quickly as possible technologies that make possible a direct connection between brain and computer, so that artificial brains contribute to human intelligence rather than opposing it."1 The important message to take from this is that the danger—that we will see machines with an intellect that outperforms that of humans—is real.

I. The Facts

But is it just a danger—a potential threat—or, if things continue to progress as they are doing, is it an inevitability? Is the Matrix going to happen whether we like it or not? One flaw in the present-day thinking of some philosophers lies in their assumption that the ultimate goal of research into Artificial Intelligence is to create a robot machine with intellectual capabilities approaching those of a human. This may be the aim in a limited number of cases, but the goal for most AI developers is to make use of the ways in which robots can outperform humans—rather than those in which they can only potentally become our match.

Robots can sense the world in ways that humans cannot—ultraviolet, X-ray, infrared, and ultrasonic perception are some obvious examples—and they can intellectually outperform humans in many aspects of memory and logical mathematical processing. And robots have no trouble thinking of the world around them in multiple dimensions, whereas human brains are still restricted to conceiving the same entity in an extremely limited three dimensional way. But perhaps the biggest advantage robots have over us is their means of communication—generally an electronic form, as opposed to the human's embarrassingly slow mechanical technique called speech, with its highly restricted coding schemes called languages.

It appears to be inevitable that at some stage a sentient robot will appear, its production having been initiated by humans, and begin to produce other, even more capable and powerful robots. One thing overlooked by many is that humans do not reproduce, other than in cloning; rather, humans produce other humans. Robots are far superior at producing other robots and can spawn robots that are far more intelligent than themselves.

Once a race of intellectually superior robots has been set into action, major problems will appear for humans. The morals, ethics, and values of these robots will almost surely be drastically different from those of humans. How would humans be able to reason or bargain with such robots? Why indeed should such robots want to take any notice at all of the silly little noises humans would be making? It would be rather like humans today obeying the instructions of cows.

So a war of some kind would be inevitable, in the form of a last gasp from humans. Even having created intelligent, sentient robots in the first place, robots that can out-think them, the humans' last hope would be to find a weak spot in the robot armoury, a chink in their life-support mechanism. Naturally, their food source would be an ideal target. For the machines, obtaining energy from the sun—a constant source—would let them bypass humans, excluding them from the loop. But as we know, humans have already had much success in polluting the atmosphere and wrecking the ozone layer, so blocking out the sun's rays – scorching the sky, in effect – would seem to be a perfectly natural line of attack in an attempt to deprive machines of energy.

In my own book, In the Mind of the Machine2, I had put forth the idea that the machines would, perhaps in retaliation, use humans as slave labourers, to supply robots with their necessary energy. Indeed, we must consider this as one possible scenario. However, actually using humans as a source of energy—batteries, if you like—is a much sweeter solution, and more complete. Humans could be made to lie in individual pod-like wombs, acting rather like a collection of battery cells, to feed the machine-led world with power.

Probably in this world of machine dominance there would be a few renegade humans causing trouble, snapping at the heels of the machine authorities in an attempt to wrestle back power for humans, an attempt to go back to the good old times. So it is with the Matrix. It is a strange dichotomy of human existence that as a species we are driven by progress—it is central to our being—yet at the same time, for many there is a fruitless desire to step back into a world gone by, a dream world.

Yet it is in human dreams that the Matrix machines have brought about a happy balance. Simply treating humans as slaves would always bring about problems of resistance. But by providing a port directly into each human brain, each individual can be fed a reality with which he or she is happy, creating for each one a contented existence in a sort of dream world. Even now we know that scientifically it would be quite possible to measure, in a variety of ways, the level of contentment experienced by each person. The only technical problem is how one would go about feeding a storyline directly into a brain.

So what about the practical realities of the brain port? I myself have, as reported in 'I, Cyborg,'3 had a 100-pin port that allowed for both signal input and output connected into my central nervous system. In one experiment conducted while I was in New York City, signals from my brain, transmitted via the Internet, operated a robot hand in the UK. Meanwhile, signals transmitted onto my nervous system were clearly recognisable in my brain. A brain port, along the lines of that in the Matrix, is not only a scientific best guess for the future; I am working on such a port now, and it will be with us within a decade at most.

II. Human or Machine

With the port connected into my nervous system, my brain was directly connected to a computer and thence on to the network. I considered myself to be a Cyborg: part human, part machine. In The Matrix, the story revolves around the battle between humans and intelligent robots. Yet Neo, and most of the other humans, each have their own brain port. When out of the Matrix, they are undoubtedly human; but while they are in the Matrix, there can be no question that they are no longer human, but rather are Cyborgs. The real battle then becomes not one of humans versus intelligent robots but of Cyborgs versus intelligent robots.

The status of an individual whilst within the Matrix raises several key issues. For example, when they are connected are Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity individuals within the Matrix? Or do they have brains which are part human, part machine? Are they themselves effectively a node on the Matrix, sharing common brain elements with others? It must be remembered that ordinarily human brains operate in a stand-alone mode, whereas computer-brained robots are invariably networked. When connected into a network, as in the Matrix, and as in my own case as a Cyborg, individuality takes on a different form. There is a unique, usually human element, and then a common, networked machine element.

Using the common element, 'reality' can be downloaded into each brain. Morpheus describes this (as do others throughout the film) as 'having a dream.' He raises questions as to what is real. He asks how it is possible to know the difference between the dream world and the real world. This line of questioning follows on from many philosophical discussions, perhaps the most prominent being that of Descartes, who appeared to want to make distinctions between dream states and 'reality', immediately leading to problems in defining what was real and what was not. As a result he faced further problems in defining absolute truths.

Perhaps a more pertinent approach can be drawn from Berkeley, who denied the existence of a physical world, and Nietzsche, who scorned the idea of objective truth. By making the basic assumption that there is no God, my own conclusion is that there can be no absolute reality, there can be no absolute truth — whether we be human, Cyborg, or robot. Each individual brain draws its conclusions and makes assumptions as to the reality it faces at an instant, dependant on the input it receives. If only limited sensory input is forthcoming, then brain memory banks (or injected feelings) need to be tapped for a brain to conceive of a storyline. At any instant, a brain links its state with its common-sense memory banks, often coming to unlikely conclusions.

As a brain ages, or as a result of an accident, the brain's workings can change; this often appears to the individual to be a change in what is perceived rather than a change in that which is perceiving. In other words, the individual thinks it must be the world that has changed, not his or her brain. Where a brain is part of a network, however, there is a possibility for alternative viewpoints to be proposed by different nodes on the network. This is not something that individual humans are used to. An individual brain tends to draw only one conclusion at a time. In some types of schizophrenia this conclusion can be confused and can change over time; it is more usually the case, though, that such an individual will draw a conclusion about what is perceived that is very much at variance with the conclusion of other individuals. For the most part, what is deemed by society to be 'reality' at any point, far from being an absolute, is merely a commonly agreed set of values based on the perceptions of a group of individuals.

The temptation to see a religious undertone in The Matrix is interesting — with Morpheus cast as the prophet John the Baptist, Trinity perhaps as God or the holy spirit, Neo clearly as the messiah, and Cypher as Judas Iscariot, the traitor. But, far from a Gandhi-like, turn the other cheek, approach, Neo's is closer to one that perhaps was actually expected by many of the messiah himself, taking on his role as victor over the evil Matrix: a holy war against a seemingly invincible, all-powerful machine network.

But what of the machine network, the Matrix, itself? With an intellect well above that of collective humanity, surely its creativity, its artistic sense, its value for aesthetics would be a treat to behold. But the film keeps this aspect from us – perhaps to be revealed in a sequel. Humans released from the Matrix grip, merely regard it as an evil, perhaps Cypher excluded here. Meanwhile the Agents are seen almost as faceless automatons, ruthless killers, strictly obeying the will of their Matrix overlord. Possibly humans would see both the Matrix and Agents as the enemy, just as the Matrix and Agents would so regard humans – but once inside the Matrix the picture is not so clear. As a Cyborg, who are your friends and who are your enemies? It is no longer black and white when you are part machine, part human.

III. In and Out of Control

Morpheus tells Neo that the Matrix is control. This in itself is an important revelation. As humans, we are used to one powerful individual being the main instigator, the brains behind everything. It is almost as though we cannot even conceive of a group or collection running amuck, but believe, rather, that there is an individual behind it all. In the second world war, it was not the Germans or Germany who the allies were fighting but Adolf Hitler; meanwhile in Afghanistan, it is Bin-Laden who is behind it all. Yet in the Matrix we are faced with a much more realistic scenario, in that it is not some crazed individual up to no good, but the Matrix – a network.

When I find myself in a discussion of the possibility of intelligent machines taking over things, nine times out of ten I am told—following a little chuckle to signify that I have overlooked a blindingly obvious point—that "If a machine causes a problem you can always switch it off." What a fool I was not to have thought of it!! How could I have missed that little snippet?

Of course it is not only the Matrix but even today's common Internet that gives us the answer, and cuts the chuckle short. Even now, how is it practically possible to switch off the Internet? We're not talking theory here, we're talking practice. Okay, it is of course possible to unplug one computer, or even a small subsection intranet, but to bring down the whole Internet? Of course we can't. Too many entities, both humans and machines, rely on its operation for their everyday existence. It is not a Matrix of the future that we will not be able to switch off, it is a Matrix of today that we cannot switch off, over which we cannot have ultimate control.

Neo learns that the Matrix is a computer-generated dream world aimed at keeping humans under control. Humans are happy to act as an energy source for the Matrix as long as they themselves believe that the reality of their existence is to their liking; indeed, how are the human nodes in a position to know what is computer-generated reality and what is reality generated in some other way?

A stand-alone human brain operates electrochemically, powered partly by electrical signals and partly by chemicals. In the western world we are more used to chemicals being used to change our brain and body state, either for medicinal purposes or through narcotics, including chemically instigated hallucinations. But now we are entering the world of e-medicine. Utilising the electronic element of the electrochemical signals on which the human brain and nervous system operate, counterbalancing signals can be sent to key nerve fibre groups to overcome a medical problem. Conversely, electronics signals can be injected to stimulate movement or pleasure. Ultimately, electronic signals will be able to replace the chemicals that release memories and "download" memories not previously held. Why live in a world that is not to your liking if a Matrix state is able to keep your bodily functions operating whilst you live out a life in a world in which you are happy with yourself? The world of the Matrix would appear to be one that lies in the direction humanity is now heading—a direction in which it would seem, as we defer more and more to machines to make up our minds for us, that we wish to head.

IV. Ignorance and Bliss

In a sense, The Matrix is nothing more than a modern day "Big Brother," taking on a machine form rather than the Orwellian vision of a powerful individual using machines to assist and bring about an all-powerful status. But 1984, the novel in which the story of Big Brother was presented, was published in 1948. The Matrix comes fifty years later. In the meantime, we have witnessed the likes of radar, television for all, space travel, computers, mobile phones, and the Internet. What would Orwell's Big Brother have been like if he had had those technologies at his disposal – would Big Brother have been far from the Matrix?

With the first implant I received, in 1998, for which I had no medical reason (merely scientific curiosity), a computer network was able to monitor my movements. It knew what time I entered a room and when I left. In return it opened doors for me, switched on lights, and even gave me a welcoming "Hello" as I arrived. I experienced no negatives at all. In fact, I felt very positive about the whole thing. I gained something as a result of being monitored and tracked. I was happy with having Big Brother watching me because, although I gave up some of my individual humanity, I benefited from the system doing things for me. Would the same not be true of the Matrix? Why would anyone want to experience the relatively tough and dangerous life of being an individual human when he or she could be part of the Matrix?

So here we come on to the case of Cypher. As he eats his steak he says, "I know that this steak doesn't exist. I know when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious!" He goes on to conclude that "Ignorance is bliss." But is it ignorance? His brain is telling him, by whatever means, that he is eating a nice juicy steak. How many times do we nowadays enter a fast-food burger bar in order to partake of a burger that, through advertising, our brains have been conditioned into believing is the tastiest burger imaginable. When we enter we know, because we've seen the scientific papers, that the burger contains a high percentage of water, is mainly fat, and is devoid of vitamins. Yet we still buy such burgers by the billion. When we eat one, our conditioned brain is somehow telling us that it is juicy and delicious, yet we know it doesn't quite exist in the form our brain is imagining.

We can thus understand Cypher's choice. Why be out of the Matrix, living the dangerous, poor, tired, starving life of a disenfranchised human, when you can exist in a blissfully happy life, with all the nourishment you need? Due to the deal he made with Agent Smith, once Cypher is back inside he will have no knowledge of having made any deal in the first place. He appears to have nothing at all to lose. The only negative aspect is that before he is reinserted he may experience some inner moral human pangs of good or bad. Remember that being reinserted is actually good for the Matrix, although it is not so good for the renegade humans who are fighting the system.

Robert Nozick's thought experiment puts us all to the test, and serves as an immediate exhibition of Cypher's dilemma. Nozick asks, if our brains can be connected, by electrodes, to a machine which gives us any experiences we desire, would we plug into it for life? The question is, what else could matter other than how we feel our lives are going, from the inside? Nozick himself argued that other things do matter to us, for example that we value being a certain type of person, we want to be decent, we actually wish to do certain things rather than just have the experience of doing them. I disagree completely with Nozick.

Research involving a variety of creatures, principally chimpanzees and rats, has allowed them to directly stimulate pleasure zones in their own brain, simply by pressing a button. When given the choice of pushing a button for pleasure or a button for food, it is the pleasure button that has been pressed over and over again, even leading to starvation (although individuals were quite happy even about that). Importantly, the individual creatures still had a role to play, albeit merely that of pressing a button. This ties in directly with the Matrix, which also allows for each individual mentally experiencing a world in which he or she is active and has a role to play.

It is, however, an important question whether or not an individual, as part of the Matrix, experiences free will or not. It could be said that Cypher, in deciding to re-enter the Matrix, is exercising his free will. But once inside, will he still be able to exhibit free will then? Isn't it essentially a similar situation to that proposed by Nozick? Certainly, within the mental reality projected on an individual by the Matrix, it is assumed that a certain amount of mental free will is allowed for; but it must be remembered, at the same time, that each individual is lying in a pod with all his or her life-sustaining mechanisms taken care of and an interactive storyline being played down into his or her brain. Is that free will? What is free will anyway, when the state of a human brain is merely partly due to a genetic program and partly due to life's experience? Indeed, exactly the same thing is true for a robot.

In the Matrix, no human fuel cells are killed, not even the unborn—there is no abortion. Yet, naturally dying humans are allowed to die naturally and are used as food for the living. Importantly, they are not kept alive by chemicals merely for the sake of keeping them alive. The Matrix would appear to be more morally responsible to its human subjects than are human subjects to themselves. Who therefore wouldn't want to support and belong to the Matrix, especially when it is making life easier for its subjects?

Neo is kidnapped by Luddites, dinosaurs from the past when humans ruled the earth. It's not the future. We are in reality heading towards a world run by machines with an intelligence far superior to that of an individual human. But by linking into the network and becoming a Cyborg, life can appear to be even better than it is now. We really need to clamp down on the party-pooper Neos of this world and get into the future as soon as we can—a future in which we can be part of a Matrix system, which is morally far superior to our Neolithic morals of today.

Kevin Warwick
www.kevinwarwick.com

Footnotes

1. Hawking, S., "Hawking's plan to offest computer threat to humans", Ananova, www.ananova/news, 1 September 2001

2. In the Mind of the Machine, Arrow, 1998. Available on www.amazon.co.uk

3. I, Cyborg, Century, 2002. Available on www.amazon.co.uk


Posted at 09:52 am by Virus666
Take The RedPill  

Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Backstabbed

the other night my dad kicked me out of the house. and kept my stuff. the fucker was trying to piss me off. thats what he does best. i got into a bad financial situation at my bank, and i was going to take care of it friday. my dad knew that but he didnt believe me. i got pissed off, and i told him that i was making progress but he got pissed off for defending myself and he told me to get out. so now im back where i started two weeks ago. i have the shittiest luck in the world! i did not do anything bad while i was at my dad's. i obeyed his rules, i did what he asked me to, but he just decided to stab me in the back and kick me out on the streets again. all he was bitchin about was a situation that happened last summer. i fucking hate him, he really does want me to die. or else he wouldhave kicked me out in the freezing cold. im looking at my options and i think i cn make it out of this shithole if i can. i have nothing but the fucking clothes on my back.

Posted at 09:32 am by Virus666
Unplugged (1)  

Monday, October 31, 2005
Salvation

Finally, i got ahold of my dad and he decided to let me stay with him untill i go into the navy. i know it sounds weird cuz i am antibush, but the military is the only way i can do good for myself. all i have to do is get my diploma, which will take about a month, and ill go into the navy reserves for 6 months, then ill go into active duty. im getting another job, and im starting to save up my money.
7one: there is a US Navy port in Singapore. if i get stationed in the west coast of US, ill be able to go to singapore!
Thank you 7one for showing concern for me. I owe you.
 

Posted at 10:01 am by Virus666
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Homeless

well everybody, it seems that my life has come to the worst case scenario. and at the worst time. For those of you who havnt experienced this life has no clue what it is like to have nowhere to go to. it is unbearable. the hunger, the cold. thats only the start of it.ni still have my job, and thats what is saving my life right now. im sorry i havnt been able to update in a long time, most of you who read my blog probably dont anymore. i have to get going, my time is running out.

Posted at 10:16 am by Virus666
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Friday, September 09, 2005
tsunami, and now a fucking hurricane.

NEW ORLEANS - More stragglers seemed willing to flee the filthy water and stench of death Thursday as increasingly insistent rescuers made what may be their last peaceful pass through swamped New Orleans before using force.

"Some are finally saying, `I've had enough," said U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Michael Keegan. "They're getting dehydrated. They are running out of food. There are human remains in different houses. The smells mess with your psyche."

Across a flooded city where as many as 10,000 holdouts were believed to be stubbornly staying put, police made it clear in orders barked from front porches and through closed doors that they would return - next time, getting tough.

Police said they were 80 percent done with their scan of the city for voluntary evacuees, after which they planned to begin carrying out Mayor Ray Nagin's order to forcibly remove remaining residents from a city filled with disease-carrying water, broken gas lines and rotting corpses.

"The ones who wanted to leave, I would say most of them are out," said Detective Sgt. James Imbrogglio. "There may be a few left, so we're going to go check one of our last areas that's underwater today and then hopefully that will be it."

The job of carrying out the mayor's order was left largely to the 1,000 or so remaining members of New Orleans' beleaguered police force.

"We are not going to be rough," said Police Chief Eddie Compass. "We are going to be sensitive. We are going to use the minimum amount of force."

The near-conclusion of the voluntary evacuation came as receding floodwaters revealed still more rotting corpses. Nagin has said the death toll in New Orleans alone could reach 10,000, and state officials were ordering 25,000 body bags.

Volunteer rescuer Gregg Silverman, part of a 14-boat contingent from Columbus, Ohio, said he expected to find many more survivors in his excursion through the city's flooded streets. Instead, he found mostly bodies.

"They had me climb up on a roof, and I did bring an ax up to where a guy had tried to stick a pipe up through a vent," Silverman said. "Unfortunately, he had probably just recently perished. His dog was still there, barking. The dog wouldn't come. We had to leave the dog just up there in the attic."

As for other bodies his group encountered: "Obviously we are not recovering them. We are just tying them up to banisters, leaving them on the roof."

Coast Guard Chief Petty Officer Jason Rule said his crew pulled 18 people from their homes Thursday. He said some of the holdouts did not want to leave "unless we can take their animals."

"It's getting to the point where they're delirious," he said. "A couple of them don't know who they were. They think the water will go down in a few days."

At St. Rita's nursing home in the town of Chalmette, authorities struggled to identify as many as 30 residents who may have perished.

Dr. Bryan Patucci, coroner of St. Bernard Parish, said the nursing home staff apparently believed it was more dangerous to move the residents than keep them at the building. He said it may be impossible to identify all the victims until authorities compile a final list of missing persons.

The Army Corps of Engineers said the city was still about 60 percent flooded - down from as much as 80 percent last week - but was slowly being drained by 37 of the 174 pumps in the Orleans, St. Bernard and Plaquemines parishes, and 17 portable pumps. Together, those pumps can move 11,000 cubic feet of water per second, roughly equal to 432 Olympic-size swimming pools per hour.

Engineers said the mammoth undertaking could take months, and could be complicated by corpses getting clogged in the pumps.

"It's got a huge focus of our attention right now," said John Rickey of the Corps. "Those remains are people's loved ones."

In Washington, the chief of the Environmental Protection Agency said the decision to pour heavily contaminated floodwaters from New Orleans streets into Lake Pontchartrain could pose future environmental problems.

"We were all faced with a difficult choice," EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson said. The other option was to pour the water into the Mississippi River, where it eventually would move into the Gulf of Mexico.

Meanwhile, President Bush declared Sept. 16 as a national day of remembrance for the dead, and he encouraged those displaced by the storm to sign up for $2,000 debit cards to help rebuild their lives. Congress also rushed to approve an additional $51.8 billion in emergency aid for the victims.

Bush dispatched Vice President Dick Cheney to the region Thursday amid persistent criticism of the sluggish pace of the federal response. Stopping along a street of splintered homes in Gulfport, Miss., Cheney said much progress is being made in a relief effort he termed "very impressive."

As he spoke, a passer-by hurled an expletive at the vice president. "First time I've heard it," Cheney joked with reporters when asked if he was hearing a lot of such sentiments.

Later in New Orleans, Cheney visited a repaired levee and surveyed the damage as he rode through the streets in an armored Humvee.

At Louis Armstrong Airport, now a bustling military encampment, New Orleans' City Council met for the first time since Katrina, with members defending how they handled the disaster and defiantly vowing to rebuild.

"New Orleans has been built back from many disasters," said Councilwoman Cynthia Hedge Morrell. "New Orleans was here before there was a United States of America."

Some 400,000 homes in the city are without power, with no immediate prospect of getting it back. Where water has been restored, it is not drinkable. The city is still dangerous - not primarily, as it was last week, from armed criminals, but from the sewage-laden floodwaters, which are believed to contain E. coli and other dangerous germs.

Fires were also a continuing problem. At least 11 blazes burned across the city Thursday, including a rash of fires that raged across the campus of historically black Dillard University, destroying three large buildings.

Across town at the Audubon Zoo, curator Dan Maloney said some of the 1,400 animals were lost, but keepers have been too busy caring for survivors to take a count. The dead included two sea otters that were moved to different tanks before Katrina and died from stress.

Some of the most vulnerable creatures - including several macaws, eagles and a pair of African lions - were being transferred to other zoos.

Said chief gardener Tran Asproditis: "It's just sad that this has happened and it is going to take us a long time to recover and reopen for the kids. And that's what we want to do, is just open so the kids can come back."

---

Associated Press writers Cain Burdeau, Melinda DeSlatte, Brett Martel, Erin McClam and Doug Simpson contributed to this report.


Posted at 12:24 am by Virus666
Unplugged (2)  

Saturday, July 09, 2005
back from the virtual dead.

hello everyone i am back from the dead. sorry i wasnt able to update anything on my blog in forever.
i was homeless with my friend josh for two months. alot of crap happened, my car broke down, my diet consisted of ramen noodles once a day. i have lost a lot of weight. some good things happened, though. i went to rockfest, the best concert of my life yet. i have a girlfriend, i almost got laid in her friends car, if it wasnt for her friend that walked in on us. lots of more shit happened, but it is too much to tell. try crunching all of two months adventures into one page. hard to do. i say hello to 7one, grim, potencia staticbrain, efilman, and the others who believe. i hope i get a greeting back.

Virus

Posted at 02:21 pm by Virus666
Take The RedPill  

Saturday, May 14, 2005
upgrades

well my Proboard forums are now updating to version 4! i cant wait to see what admin features they have! im going to a jet car race at KCIR. jet cars can go up to 350 MPH! and they are loud as hell. imagine standing next to a jet aircraft while its running. last time i went to a jetcar race, the blast from it taking off broke some windows a quarter mile down the street. i cant wait to go today!

i got a checking account set up today. with atm and all that stuff. so now i got money in my pocket, but unfortunatly, i am now in the system. actually i was in the system since i got my first job, but now they can track me. i hate the system.

the system is the matrix. it is everywhere. we pay to survive. we are forced to give the government money just to simply live. (taxes) we can evade them, but we cant survive. heres how it goes:

we go to school to prepare for our "life" we work like hell for 20 some years to get educated on bullshit just to end up working in a cubicle. no wonder 2 thirds of america is fat. we are forced to go to school so we can make more money, which in turn is more money for the government. we pay for everything.
Food, water, shelter. these are the things that cost the most. if we cant afford them, we die. eventually. we live a shitty life if we dont do what the govt demands us to do. we are forced on to the streets, fighting for our own survival. and look at the other side. the people that obey like sheep to the slaughter live a boring life. even though it may be different than aybody elses life, it is still the same. what is the future of the human race? still sitting at cubicles serving the system? or are we going to wake up and realize our future is nothing to compare?

this is every ones life:

birth
getting raised to obey the laws and customs of the culture and country.
go to school to prepare for nothing.
if you do "good" in school, you get that desk job youve worked for all your life.
start family.
work at desk job some more
retire
die.

vague as it seems, this is the summary of every americans lifestyle. do you see the future in this?

i dont.

Posted at 02:03 pm by Virus666
Unplugged (4)  

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